


the moon rises (and i become you)

by izzylerd



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, hella fluff, i love her can u tell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-10-01 16:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20331589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzylerd/pseuds/izzylerd
Summary: You're stressing over midterm exams when you realize you're in love with Jo Haseul





	the moon rises (and i become you)

**Author's Note:**

> Haseul has been making me feel a certain way recently so i just,,, did this :))))))
> 
> i have a fat ass crush on her please don't tell her

_ **You belong with me in my sweet home** _

////

You're sitting in her dorm room when you realize it.

Classes have started to pick up to a pace you've never known before, the stress of all the overlapping assignments and essays is evident on both of your faces, and in the way that she's been carrying herself recently.

Your relationship is fairly new. You met at the beginning of the school year at a party for the theatre department, you were new to the program and she had been the lead role in last years production.

(When you'd heard her sing for the first time you'd completely understood how she got the role as a freshman.)

She's a sophomore and you're a freshman, so she's got more of the college experience under her belt but it's only so much. She practically took you under her wing, helping you through the first bit of chaos that comes with the first semester of freshman year, and you'd grown incredibly close through all the craziness and mental breakdowns of the fall.

A semester isn't much, but you've managed to figure some things out about yourself that have helped you get through the first half of the second semester. It's still very stressful considering midterms are coming up, but it's almost over and you've only got a few more months left before you're free for the summer.

(Free isn't really free now, considering you've got to find a job soon so you can start paying for your own place to stay instead of the crowded dorms.

It's not a horrible place to be, but you'd much rather have your own place than have to share everything with someone else.)

"Haseul?"

"Yeah babe?"

You shiver.

"Can you help me with this problem really quick? I didn't wanna bother you but-"

She's laying with her back against her headboard and her legs thrown over yours, but she moves too quickly for you to get the rest of your sentence out and pulls her round glasses down her face to look at your paper.

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're not bothering me?"

It's not condescending, if anything she says it so softly you think if you hadn't been expecting her to say it you wouldn't have heard it at all.

This is usually where you find yourself at night, with her working on an essay on her laptop and you working on whatever assignments you've been given. There's soft music playing in the background, some new hit from the biggest radio station that you haven't had time to actually listen to on your own. Her string lights and desk lamp are the only sources of light in the room but they give off enough light so that you can see the little specks of black in her brown eyes, notice how the light reflects off her incredibly silky hair.

You realize you've been too busy staring at her while she's been explaining your math problem, and now you're both staring at each other and there's a special glint in her eyes that you've learned to catch.

"Were you even listening to me you dork?"

She smiles at you and it makes your heart jump to your throat, she's so incredibly beautiful and you really don't know what you've done in your life to deserve her but whatever it is, you're thankful for it.

She's been the light in the darkness that is college, it's your first time being away from your family on your own and it's been an incredibly hard adjustment. You're super close with your parents, as well as your two younger siblings, and not seeing them everyday has been difficult to say the least. But Haseul has been everything that you've wanted and needed in your life. At first it was simply platonic, she's an amazing best friend and your personalities mesh so well together you don't know how you didn't meet her sooner. She's funny, so sweet and understanding of everything, just motherly enough to not be overbearing or controlling, and she just understands you in a way that no one else does.

Which is exactly why you found yourself falling for her around Christmas time.

Being in college obviously means that you're not going to be around everyone else during actual Christmas, but it doesn't stop the campus from participating in any and every Christmas event possible. There's always a big Christmas parade downtown and she had dragged you out to it despite it being freezing and very close to snowing. It'd been fun in the end, from the hot chocolate to the free street food, you'd actually had a very good time with her.

It'd also been the day that you had confessed to her.

It wasn't the way you wanted to do it at all. Haseul is the kind of girl who deserves the most romantic gestures possible, you'd wanted to do it at the park in the snow or, just not at all because you're incredibly scared of your feelings for her.

But it had started snowing right near the end of the parade and you'd looked to her because she had let out a tiny giggle - yes, your heart skipped at it - and there she was. The snow was sticking to her hair, becoming tiny little stars on her black hair and melting on her tongue that she had stuck out, the lights from around the buildings reflecting in her glasses and illuminating her face, and the cold breeze making her cute nose turn red and you'd just blurted it out.

(It was the right decision in the end. Her face had lit up brighter than the biggest Christmas tree in the world, her smile threatening to break her cheeks. She'd laughed and then thrown herself at you, hugging you so tightly that you had to tap on her so that you could breathe.

It was also the day of your first kiss. She'd pressed her lips against yours underneath the snow and the lights and she still tasted like hot chocolate and it was perfect.)

"Baby? Are you okay?"

You feel her thumb stroking across your cheek and it makes you realize that there's a single tear sliding down your face.

You blush and bow your head a bit, "Yes, I'm fine. I was just...thinking"

She laughs, "About?"

You're not the most confident person with relationships, but Haseul makes you feel comfortable in every possible way and she's just been an entirely new experience and it should make you scared, but it doesn't because it's _her, _"Just you"

She obviously doesn't expect that answer, her face flushes and she rolls her eyes to feign annoyance but you know she's smiling as she turns her head to the side. It just allows you to look at her more and appreciate everything about her. She's absolutely breathtaking, from her blemish-free skin to the curve of her nose and the perk of her lips. Everything about her is just beautiful in every way possible, and if you weren't conscious of your crying now you think you might actually sob. 

"And what about me, huh?"

You look down to the textbook in your lap and decide you've done enough for today, the assignment isn't due until Tuesday and it's Friday. You have plenty of time and you haven't allowed yourself a day of rest in a couple of weeks. You push the books away and get off her bed, stretching a bit until you grab both of her hands and pull her against you.

"Why do you ask so many questions Haseulie?"

She rolls her eyes but circles her arms around your torso, resting her chin on your shoulder even if she has to stretch her neck a bit, "Well wouldn't you ask someone the same thing if they said they were thinking about you?"

"Well, what are _you _thinking about right now?"

"I'm thinking you're being a little asshole and you're distracting me from my homework", she quips and you laugh. 

"Don't you think we've both worked enough for today?"

You can practically feel her scrunching her eyebrows at you, "You know I'm stressing about this essay for my coursework. I have to get it finished-"

"As soon as possible, yes, yes, I know. Not like you haven't told me ten billion times just today"

She scoffs and pulls away from her, placing her hands on her hips in a way that makes her look a bit like a mom, "You're being very mean today. I just wanted to know what you were thinking about but if you want to be that way-"

You roll your eyes lovingly, knowing she's just messing with her, and pull her back around you, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead in the way you know makes her melt. 

(She does. Just like every time before. All it takes is a gentle press of your lips against her temple and she's practically putty in your arms. It's a comforting feeling.)

"I was just thinking about the day I confessed to you, and how I wish I had been a bit more romantic about it"

She grumbles, "I've told you plenty of times before that the way it happened was romantic enough, you could've told me while you were wearing a trash bag and I still would have loved every second of it"

You bark out a laugh, "Oh please Haseul, at least pretend you have standards"

She hums and leans back to look you in the eyes, "Well, I'm dating _you, _obviously I have _very _high standards"

That makes you blush, and she laughs because she knows she has you caught. Then there's a hand on your cheek and she's guiding you down to her lips and you really can't help but smile into it. Your lips glide together like the most natural thing in the world, the way she kisses you and touches you lights you on fire and takes your breath away every single time and you just don't understand how she does it. 

Haseul makes you happier than any other person in the world, every day you feel like you fall more and more in love with her and-

Wait. 

_Wait. _

The sudden realization makes you sputter, and suddenly you're bent over your knees having a very embarrassing coughing fit with Haseul patting your back. 

"Jeez, I knew I could take your breath away but I think this is a bit much babe"

Jesus _fuck. _

"Sorry, I think I breathed in at the wrong time or something"

She laughs at you for a minute and then sits back down on her bed, pulling her laptop back into her lap and you feel like you've missed an opportunity. 

Nothing you can't fix though. 

You're not good at romance in any way, but Haseul makes you want to try, and there's no getting her away from her essay for another few hours and now that you've realized you're _in love _with her, you can't just keep it to yourself. She deserves to know that someone is in love with her, even if it's just you. 

You gently sit down next to her and rest a hand on her thigh, "Haseul?"

She doesn't look up from her laptop until a few seconds of silence pass, and then she's looking back up at you and _fuck, how are you supposed to do this???_

"Yes?" There's the slightest bit of worry etched into her features, which isn't what you want at all, so you smile softly at her. 

"Haseul, I-"

You don't know why you stop, but there's a part of you that wants to cherish the stillness of her dorm room, the soft music playing, the fairy lights illuminating the tens of polaroids of you and her, the loving look in her eyes that makes you feel like you're on top of the world. 

There's so many things you love about her, a thick journal probably doesn't have enough pages for you to write them all down. 

You love her smile, how it can light up an entire room with her cheery presence. You love her eyes, how you can tell what she's feeling just by a glance at them and how expressional she is. You love her voice, love how she knows when to yell and be loud and when to speak softly, love her singing voice and how she can sing practically anything and make it sound so clear and elegant. You love her laugh, how sometimes it comes out too loud or too high pitched and she covers her mouth in embarrassment. You love her fashion sense, how she can rock the broke college student look and then turn around and look like a super rich CEO in the next hour. You love how smart she is, how willing she is to learn something new and understand it instead of getting upset or angry if she doesn't get something. You love how selfless she is, how willing she is to put her own worries aside if someone needs her for something, how ready she is to help anyone in need if it's just to remind them to eat breakfast or to help them confess to someone. You love her lips, because yes, kissing her is like being on top of the world, but the other things she can do with her lips are absolutely god sent. 

The list goes on and on, but there's even more things that you're in love with her for. 

You're in love with how she knows her own boundaries, she's the kind of girl who really knows and understands herself and it's so, _so _attractive. You've in love with the way she carries herself, how even on the bad days she manages to make everything seem positive. You're in love with how she views life, she doesn't see it as a nuisance or as a chore, but as something to enjoy and cherish every single day. You're in love with the way she shows love towards you, how she knows you inside and out and knows when to push or when to pull. You're in love with the way she knows you, knows that if you send her a certain look then she's ready to help with whatever you need, or if you're feeling particularly down about something she knows exactly what to do or say to get you happy again. You're in love with _her, _and everything that makes her the woman that she is. 

"Haseul, I'm in love with you"

Her eyes widen to saucers, her hands that were typing on her laptop freezing and her entire body tensing up. 

"Oh"

Oh no. Should you have not said that? Is it too soon? Does she not feel the same way?

You struggle to form words, fearing you've just ended the best thing to happen to you, "Oh, do you- It's okay if you don't feel the same way, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

She gets up so quickly that her laptop falls onto the bed and shuts by itself, and you're focused enough on it to be worried about it but then she's got her hands on your neck, forcing you to look at her, and she looks frenzied. 

"No! No, I'm sorry, god, sorry, that- that wasn't what I meant to say. I'm such an idiot oh my god", it comes out all in one breath and she's flailing her hands around now in the way that lets you know she's horribly nervous right now and this is not at all how you expected this to go. 

"Haseul! It's okay! Please, breathe before you give yourself an asthma attack or something!"

She visibly relaxes and you're thankful, you're already feeling haywire for fucking confessing you love for her, you don't know how much crazy you can handle now. 

She sits back down next to you and takes a deep breath, now fidgeting with your fingers as a tiny smile plays across her lips. 

"Do you really?"

You sputter, "Do I- What? Of course, you idiot! Who wouldn't be?"

She rolls her eyes - you really think she should stop before they get stuck - and laughs, "Ugh, you're such an asshole! Sorry for thinking it's so crazy that _you're _in love with _me_"

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

It comes out a little snippier than you meant and she looks two seconds away from crying, "No no that's not what I meant! I just.."

She trails off and stares a little past your head, "You just?"

She sighs, and you can tell she's trying to find the right words for the moment so you let her think a bit. 

It doesn't take long for her to figure it out, "I think I started falling in love with you the second I saw you across the room at that party and I just, I thought maybe that I'm just not enough for you, or that you'll realize there's probably someone else out there who can love you better than I can. I don't know, it's stupid"

You frown, "It's not stupid baby, it's okay to feel insecure. I know you always try to make everything better for other people and sometimes you forget to focus on yourself, but I promise you that's exactly one of the reasons I love you. And don't you dare think for a moment that there's someone out there who's better than you. I love you for _you, _not what you have to offer me. I'm exactly where I'm meant to be Haseul, and that's with you"

Okay, maybe you're a bit more romantic than you had thought. You blame it on Haseul for turning you into a softie. 

You chance a glance up at her and she's _crying, _something she very rarely does and oh god-

"I love you so much, I love you more than anything and it's been driving me crazy and I'm so, _so _fucking happy that you love me back because I don't know what I would do if you didn't"

And now you're crying. 

You maneuver her half into your lap just so you can hold her as close as possible and you cry together. 

You don't know how long you stay there, both sniffling and stroking at each other's arms and hands, but it doesn't really matter. 

You've got all the time in the world to keep loving Jo Haseul. 

////

**_I belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart_**


End file.
